Saída

I've now watched three different people leave since April. Each time it leaves an odd feeling inside. First Angeles back in the middle of April, then Toni about a week ago, and now Susy.

***

We stand in the drive, hugging, saying goodbye, stumbling over Spanish and English alike, laughing, some tears. They get in the car, the engine starts, we're still yelling 'Adios!' and waving manically as the car reverses, then drives off, we wave a bit more, even when the cars out of sight. And that's it. Susy's gone. (Toni's gone. Angeles' gone.)

So, maybe I exaggerate a little. No tears. And it was just me left standing in the drive. It happened at 8am - others were sleeping and had said goodbyes yesterday, and Rubén and Mar obviously said goodbye inside. Dinora was waving from her window.

But Susy's gone. She won't even be out of Portugal yet.

Every time someone leaves, the Refuge feels empty. I guess now, since Susy was here since three days before I arrived, it feels even more so. I'm starting to see a little bit of how the children must feel each time someone comes and goes. I made a great friend, had great times, adventures, experiences with Susy that I won't forget.

Faltam menos que duas semanas para mim. Quase acabou.

Sun, grass, footy, astro and wine.

It's been a fortnight since my last post. So, what exactly HAVE I been doing?, I hear you call. Let me answer...

This and that. Getting into some good disciplines (well, not just these past two weeks, but the whole time I've been here), soaking up some sun, and having a brilliantly English Weekend.

My work has consisted of cutting grass for various reasons. Sometimes just to make the place look pretty. But one of the biggest patches was to stop snakes hiding. Yes, I was filled with joy upon hearing, "We need you to cut the grass by the footy pitch because the snakes hide in there". Great.

English classes have been non-existent this week. I think all the teenagers have done their English tests for school - I just hope I've helped them a little bit! They seemed to get some sort of a grip on whatever we went through (despite the fact they hated doing the classes, just how I felt doing my French tuition classes...).

I guess the biggest news since Friday is the fact that the astro-turf for the new pitch has FINALLY ARRIVED! It was very very exciting. A big lorry, followed by a lot of waiting around for another lorry to be brought with an arm because the first lorry wouldn't fit up the track up to the pitch. Then, five burly men and myself heaved 10 massive rolls of astro-turf off the lorry onto the ground, then strapped them onto the crane one by one to be taken up to the top. Now they're all lying messily by the entrance to the pitch awaiting another machine to come and lay them. Oh, please come tomorrow! It's so bloomin' exciting! Gave my muscles a good work out, too.

I've been 'running' with Jorge and whoever else wants to come this past fortnight, too. I say 'running', because it starts off as a run and quickly turns into a walk, then a slow walk with frequent stops, followed by short and odd bursts of running (after much nagging from me). And that's on a good day. Bad days will hardly start with a run, have a lot of complaining, and much pushing of Jorge by me to make him move at all. I do it as a difference from football, and everytime he says "Aidan lets go running!" and then doesn't run! Why say you want to go running and then complain, Jorge?! I know, it's because he's unfit, but he can't surely be serious when he's not done any running at all and uses the excuse 'Tenho cansado' (I'm tired) when I nag him to run?!

Played a wicked game of footy with Rubén, Joel, Marcos, Miguel, Fabio, Nelson, Goto and João on Wednesday night. Pure gold. It was the teenagers, Miguel and me against Rubén, Fabio, Joel and Marcos. They won, 18-14 or something. Mental. Football with Jorge, Marcos, Miguel and Joel (pequenho) has not been so fun recently (hence the running instead) with arguments, fouls and fights breaking out (usually involving Joel - his temper is bad!) frequently. I have to be an actual referee. Unbelievable.

There's been a lot of sunshine recently, too, until this weekend. It has been nice and hot. Delightful.

What was that? Did I hear someone ask what is this discipline I'm on about?

Well, it's me getting into structures, disciplines, making sure I'm really putting effort into God rather than just sitting back and letting Him happen around me. Put something into the Relationship for it to come out of me. I'm loving my quiet times (though thinking I'll have to do some BEFORE lunch, because I keep falling asleep after lunch...), putting my iPod on the 'Worship' playlist on shuffle and singing loudly, followed by reading a Psalm then a chapter from Jeremiah (at the moment - very interesting; it's amazing, I've been noticing, how much there is reference to Jesus in Jeremiah, which no-one's pointed out to me before.) and then still working through John for Everyone (part 2) by Tom Wright (read it! And Part 1, too!). Had a great time singing the other day, really felt God touching me, loving me, it was great.

I'm also reading two brilliant books right now. Firstly, The Pursuit of Holiness (not Happyness) by Jerry Bridges. Get your hands on a copy - oldish book (about the 80s, so my era, really...) but so relevant today, on something that every single person without exception needs. And secondly, C S Lewis's Reflections on the Psalms (to go with my reading of the Psalms, obviously). Good help, good insight.

So, why no posts since a week ago?

Well, the real answer is the internet has been down for this past week. Why didn't I do it the week before? I have no idea. But here I am now. I also apologise for the lack of photos. Now it's just info. I'll see what I can do about that.

But, Aidan! What was the English Weekend you were on about?!

Ah, thanks for that question. Last weekend I headed up to Porto and spent a weekend with Bill and Tina again. Brilliant time. Saturday night (after seeing X-Men Origins with the teenagers - brilliant film (despite the poor beginning)) was spent with steak and red wine with Bill, Tina, Alison and her daughter Sophia. Great conversation, great food, great company. All English, amazing. Then we watched Britain's Got Talent, and I felt so proud for our country. I'm hooked to the show - not just singing, it's brilliant! After a lovely night's sleep, we watched the Eurovision Song Contest which Tina had recorded. Oh how hilarious! Dead impressed by the UKs position though, and what did you think of Portugal's choon, eh?! Not too shabby! (Especially the male flautist :)) Great church meeting in the evening - Romans 4 and Faith! I was on the djembe in the band again. More top company, top food, and another good night's sleep before coming back. I guess it was a refreshing weekend, but it really made me miss home and thus Monday was difficult for me with the children. I seemed to be uncomprehensible to anybody, I was tired of being a human climbing frame, I was tired of being the children's best friend when I agree with what they're doing and they're worst enemy when I'm saying no. Monday was tough; Tuesday was much better. Just needed to be back into it.

So, I should be home in the next month. It's an odd feeling. I'm not going to start reminiscing yet, though. That'll be another post.

Be safe, y'all. Love to you - I miss you all. Really. Não posso esperar para ver-se quando volte. Beijinho!

In Christ,
Aidan x

For Her. 10 . v . 2009

Birthdays are times of joy and happiness. Marking continued progress. In Portugal, we say 'Parabéns'. Congratulations. You've made it, you've pushed through. Like we're doing more than just living.

I love that verse, Hebrews 11 verse 1: "...we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses" cheering us on.

Dom. Dominie. It means something like master, or 'of the Lord'. She's shorter than me, and has longer hair than me. Apart from that, she looks pretty much the same as me (though, more beautiful...) She's had her rough times; she's had her happy times; she's studied hard; she's loved well; she's generous and kind; corageous and firm in her faith and her life. And she's still got loads more to come.

But, that aside, she's brilliant. She loves to be herself, she loves to get out. She's smart, she's fun. There aren't many sibling relationships I know like ours - we can just sit and chat and laugh and mull stuff over for hours. We can go out and mess around without feeling like we look stupid. Not that we don't have our differences, of course, but who doesn't? She's is the World's Top Sister (and she will hate me for putting that in Capitals) and I love her.

Dom, thanks for being such a great sister. I know I can be a sucky brother more than infrequently, but you are always great. I love hanging out with you, talking with you, telling you when I've got stuff to be happy about and stuff that's getting me down. And I love hearing the same from you.

You are brilliant.

Happy Birthday, big sis! I hope you have a brilliant day - it's all yours!

Missing you loads, and I can't wait to see you looking all scholarly and accomplished on July 1st!

Your little brother,
Aidan x

Mercury Rising

So, I guess there are a couple of pieces of big news to share with you all.

Firstly, and mostly, Dinora finally likes me! It was the most sudden turn around I've ever seen. She was doing her traditional ignoring me until yesterday afternoon. I was doing English with João, Dinora walked in and greeted João and not me. The day before, she protested loudly when finding out she was on my team in football (though, admittedly, she was saying 'I want to be on Goto's team' rather than 'Not on Aidan's team!'). Then, yesterday, I needed to ask her for the football because she'd taken it the previous day. It took a couple of tries to get her to pay attention to me, but then she did, and answered very nicely; it was pleasant. She then, later, came and joined Jorge and I (Desportes com Jorge!) and was laughing with me and being very nice! Then, and here's where it got so much better, after dinner she was clearing the tables, and before taking the food from our table away she asked if I wanted some more! Usually she will just ask everyone else and then take it away, which is quite amusing. I wonder if this kindness will last.

Secondly, my work yesterday and today has been to cut the grass (using a hand scyth - very exciting) in places where a tractor-mower can't go. This is because in the next month we're expected to get temperatures of around 30degrees, possibly even 40. Fires are common around here - actually I saw the first ones in February and Paulo told me that's very early, which is worrying for the summer - so we're trying to reduce the risk. What a responsibility!

Thirdly, there was some chance that I might have had to return home for a few days in the next week in order to sort out some uni stuff - Edinburgh emailed saying they needed my exam certificates, all of which are in England, and I had no idea I had to do this. It was a stressful day, yesterday, trying to figure out what would be the best way to do things. However, the amazing Margaret has managed to locate everything and it's now all under control. It looks like I can stay after all! Thank you, Margaret!

That's all really, for now. Oh, also, we had a delivery of over 700 yoghurt drinks yesterday, and they all have a best before date of 8th May. Brilliant. The teenagers fridge is packed full of them, I have 18 in my room, and there are tonnes more in the Armazém (the store room). Amazing.

Take it easy, it's a warm day!
Aidan x

Mayday! Mayday!

Happy Mayday to everyone, wherever you happen to be at this moment. In Portugal, this day is celebrated on the 1st of May, whenever that falls. Luckily, that happens to be a Friday this year, so it's a long weekend! It's interesting comparing the difference between the British and Iberian approaches to this day: in Britain, the holiday is always the start of the week, unlike Portugal, and perhaps shows a tendency towards the well known fact that British people do not like starting work, whilst the Portuguese are happy to take a break whenever?; this morning, I heard tribal-like drums, as if I was in Jumanji or something, down in the valley, and yet more fireworks being set off in the middle of the day, whereas a British approach would be more about spending the day in the park or at a National Trust property with family and/or friends, followed by a lunch or dinner out perhaps, and maybe a night on the tiles? It's really interesting, comparing cultures.

But for me, I'm still working, albeit a bit calmer today, as I have finished my very hard work. Just been sweeping the campo de futbol of the bigger stones, trying to find where there is loose cement. Tedious. But, it's the work I'm asked to do, even if no one is watching me do it...

It's a nice break not having the kids around. As much as I love them, they are a handful, and very loud.

Today is very sunny, no clouds in the sky. Beautiful. God's creation.

A xxx

Extremely belated update...

I'm sorry. It has been nigh on impossible to get to a computer in order to check emails and update this blog in the past two weeks. Imagine that - it has already been two weeks since Easter! Now there's the Pentecost Festival happening in London soon (get yourself there if you can! http://www.pentecostfestival.co.uk/ ), we've had the G20 summit, and a new Flu has decided to make an appearance. Wow...

And in those two weeks, I have been here in the Refuge, learning a lot of new things about the children, the people, the language, the culture, the cities and the country. And so so much about our God and His Work, and the work we do for Him. Crikey.

So, I've been busy busy, and I am shattered. I've stepped up my working time, and it's pretty mental. But the work I've been doing has got to be some of the most biblical work there can be. Gardening. Jesus' stories are filled with imagery of gerdening, weeding, getting your hands filthy. And it sure is exhilerating. Although, I'm starting to develop a hatred for the common grass. Its roots don't go so deep, but they go wide. They go wide. They start interlocking with others. And the grass grows tall, so you can't see the ground beneath it.
So, my first job was to clear some weeds from a flower bed next to the campo de voleibol, till the soil a little bit, make it neater. A couple of days hard work, without the tools I would've liked (like, an edger, and some clippers) and it started to look much nicer. The flowers became more prominent as they took on the shape they'd been laid out in. Nicely spaced, clear between them. A nice pathway has appeared where one can walk to admire said flowers. The whole place is looking far more dandy, I must say. The excitment came from planning where to dig, and then subsequently watching the process of clearing and the progress and the form the garden-space took. There's now a lovely plot ready to be planted by the children. Marvellous.
Then, I moved onto the job which has nearly broken my back, given me numerous blisters and a sun-burnt back, as well as that hatred of common grass. Around the new campo de futebol (which, by the way, is STILL not finished, and everyone is getting pretty annoyed at the people who haven't shown up to lay our lovely astroturf) there used to be weeds, grass, and beautiful wild flowers. A wilderness amongst the modern concrete slab. It was a shambles (though, in some parts, pretty beautiful). Excess cement had been dumped over the side. Big stones had been chucked to the side to make way for the pitch. It was a big mess. Rubén told me that it needed to be cleared, since the people who gave us the money are coming in a couple of weeks (maybe next week, now) and so we want to make it look good. So, my job has been to clear the weeds, cement and rocks from all the edges, to till the soil and make it look smooth and orderly. And boy has it been tough. The hardest part was starting, as it looked like an impossible task, and I had little idea as to how to begin! But, I got into it (although, admittedly, had to go back at the end to re-do my beginning - we learn as we go around) and, though the work was slow (at first I kept looking at my clock every five minutes. It was demorilising, until I figured out how far I would get on average at a certain pace) I finally finished. Today. Just under 10 days of work, many swoops of the blade and a whole load of rocks and soil shifted. The best part is the first time in a day your hand plunges down to the sifted soil to pick out a clump of grass or a weed or a root, and toss it nonchalently to the edge. The first breach of dirt, and you know you're working. Beautiful.
Now, there are four beautifully flat and pretty sides to the campo de futebol, plus some sort of a marked path to the entrance, though I think I'll work on that again once the pitch is done - there are still more machines to come, so I don't want them to ruin the path... The grass got me today, as I became frustrated many times, swooping and hacking at the tenacious roots which would grip to anything and everything. They gave me a picture of what grips us in this world. Some things are like the weeds - deeper roots - whilst others like the grass - roots so wide they affect everything around and other things unconnected. Both have in common a resilience to grown in the roughest places, and both need to be completely removed - roots and all - at some time.

Sunday night was another night spent on Rua da Santa Catarina, in the middle of Porto, with Agapé Campus (the student ministry of Agapé Portugal), giving food to the poor, the homeless, the needy. It was fun - I helped pack up the food at the church - and the encounter with these people who are living on so little. The ability to be there for them, help them, perhaps give them a little hope, was the greatest privilege. I want to be there more - not to just be someone who swoops in and 'does his bit', or rather to do my bit, but for my bit to be ongoing, an all-hours, 24/7/365 deal. To be Theirs.

But, I've been sensing a call saying 'Not yet'.

(Sunday was also the day I lost 20€, which when you only have 40€, is a sizeable amount. It was in my back pocket as we travelled to the bus stop, as we sat at the bus stop, as the bus drove past us because it had been waiting to the left and we thought it would pick us up, and as we walked to the next stop. After a considerable time spent dancing, I checked my pocket before the bus arrived, and then everywhere else on my person and in my bag, and could find no money. It had vanished. Not around the bus stop, and I had no time to trace our steps as the bus would arrive soon. It must have fallen out. Stupid.)

Having felt like my learning of the language was not increasing (I tried to read some Bible stories to the children, when halfway through they stopped me and told me they hadn't understood anything I'd said. Rats.), I was quickly encouraged on Sunday night as everyone told me how impressed they were at my ability to speak Portuguese having only been learning for 3 months! I felt better about it, too, as I was able to hold conversations with people, and only pause a few times to think of the words. I'm pretty sure my grammar is horrendous, but I appear to be understandable. Ando a apprendir.

Ephesians has been my quiet time reading through April, and it sure has been super. Why it was ever seperated into chapters I'll never know. The first 3 can easily be 1 chapter, and even then chapters 4-6 simply follow on, unsurprisingly, since it was originally a letter. Inspiring and hope-filled. Indeed, the first half is about this Hope we have in Jesus Christ, and then how that overflows into our lives. We are His body, and should submit to Him because He has submitted to all of us - there's Love. And we must be Spirit-guided, finding out what is Pleasing to God, and living the Life of the Spirit. Doing the work of our God 'enthusiastically', as it says in my version (New Living Translation - also see Romans 12 which talks of not being lazy in working), as if working for God alone, not looking to please other people. And then the armour, in preparation of spiritual attacks. Spiritual realms. Truth, righteousness, the Gospel, faith, salvation, Love and The Word of God. Tasty.

I have also been reading The Cross of Christ by John Stott. A meaty and precise volume of brilliant Theology, which compels me and draws me in, however heavy it may be. I encourage anyone who hasn't yet to get a copy of it and read it.

And now, for me, that's it. Please keep praying - for my calling; for this Refuge, for these children and the people who have given their lives up to look after them; for this city; for this country; for God's Light to come and His Work to be done. It's a holiday now (the same as MayDay, I guess, except in Portugal the holiday is always 1st May, whenever in the week. Luckily, this year, it happens to be Friday), thus all the children have gone off to spend the week with Christian families, whilst Rubén and his family, Joel and Carina, Nelson and Fabio and Mar are all in Barcelona, and I am going to stay with Pedro, aka 'Mr. Agapé (Campus)'.

I hope you are all reading this well and in health, especially in the current situation. And so you know, I love to hear from you, even if I can't always reply.

Blessings y'all.
Aidan xxx